Within all things, there is a point where something is able to exist within harmony and balance in a way that is best for all – meaning that there is always a way to bring points to a common, supportive, and mutually beneficial agreement in which characteristics or traits that are usually contradictory or polar opposites of each other can actually bring out each others strengths andoffset each others weaknesses.
To this end, I am opening up this point of “submissiveness” in relation to “dominance” and how there are qualities within “submissiveness” which can be quite supportive when it is utilized in the proper context and understanding – and also how “submissiveness” can become a limiting and self-diminishing point that not only has negative consequences for self, but also by extension negative consequences for others in one’s world.
The key is always to realize that there is strength within all things one may perceive as weak – and there is weakness in all things that one may perceive as strength. Within this concept, it is about having self-awareness and being able to decide what part of the equation one is standing within – is one utilizing a particular trait/characteristic in a way that is best for all and brings out the best in all that one interacts with, or is one utilizing one’s traits/characteristics in a way that only benefits self-interest, ego, and causes diminishment and separation/conflict within one’s world?
Submissiveness firstly requires some definition and clarity. When I speak here of “submissiveness” I am not talking about being completely powerless or having no self-will. I am not speaking here submissiveness from the perspective of being inferior or a slave.
The word “submissiveness” tends to have certain connotations in people’s minds so it may help to see “submissiveness” as describing the “feminine”/creative/passive/reflective/holistic nature, as opposed to “dominance” which can be seen as describing the “masculine”/structural/expressive/directive/logical nature.
Some characteristics and traits that can be supportive within this kind of “submissiveness” would be patience, the ability to see things unconditionally from another’s perspective without judgment, the ability to see things in a unified and whole picture instead of as the sum of individual parts, and the ability to work with principles and intangible concepts and turn them into practical applications.
However – when one becomes out of balance and shifts into a polarity of being overly submissive – there are negative consequences that can manifest such as becoming overly dependent on external figures of authority, having difficulty working with things that are based on linear logic and reason, being easily swayed by emotions and polarity swings, being overly focused on the past, not having practical self-will or self-trust and thus allowing things that are abusive to continue despite being aware of the consequences, and becoming too much of a “dreamer” instead of taking practical action in one’s life.
What I have come to see is that this “submissiveness” is not so much a specific personality or characteristic – but is a kind of “nature” so to speak that can exist in varying degrees within an individual and depending on whether or not this particular nature is aligned effectively, it can manifest and come through within the various characters and personalities that exist within the mind – and the same applies for “dominance” which I will explore later on.
For now, self-forgiveness on patterns that I have identified within having an imbalanced nature of “submissiveness”.
The word “submissiveness”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach to the word “submissiveness” the idea or belief that being submissive means one has no power and no authority and is therefore something “bad” and negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider redefining my relationship to the word and nature of “submissiveness” to understand it’s practical strengths so that I can better utilize them within my self-creation, and to as well understand it’s potential weaknesses, so that I am able to supplement and assist/support myself to not be a victim within submissiveness due to ignorance and lack of self-intimate understanding within the nature of “submissiveness”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that those who are submissive are weak and open to abuse and are gullible and thus “deserve” any abuse they experience within this world.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself until now, to see, realize, and understand that the negative and diminishing expressions of submissiveness are symptoms of imbalance and should not be seen as submissiveness itself.
I commit myself to redefine my relationship with this word and the concepts that it expresses – to remove my own thoughts and ideas and opinions about what it means to bring “submissiveness” into equilibrium within myself that I may utilize it’s supportive qualities and strengths as well as understand it’s weaknesses so that I can support myself and others effectively when there is an imbalance of this “nature”.
I will continue with more aspects/dimensions in blogs to follow.