Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Day 132 - Removing the Personal to See the Bigger Picture

Artist - Andrew Gable
 Tonight I am again making some adjustments in how I will be approaching my writing and how I will apply myself within these blogs, taking into consideration my current placement and where I am within my process and how best to remain consistent without compromising my obligations and stability within "working within the system". Within this adjustment will obviously be fine tuning as I go along - so here I give myself the foundation and starting point of walking my correction as I go.

The point that brought me to look at and consider this point came up when I saw how I have become very inconsistent in my writing/blogging application as I find myself more and more getting bogged down within work and the various relationships and conflicts that come up within my daily life and I see that the way that I was approaching my writing was not effective in taking into consideration my actual participation - where my writings tend to be broader and tend to open up wider subjects than I am able to practically work with and walk through in detail given "where I am at" within my process in the context of working full time and dealing with various relationships and obligations that can in and of themselves become quite taxing - and instead of really slowing down and working with these very points when and as I can within a point of actual self-care, I instead would only write when I felt stable and felt that I could open up a point and walk it without going into resistances.

So here are the problems that I see within how I have been approaching my application and the consequences that I am seeing within it -


Problems - 

1. Not being consistent in my writing application and aligning myself effectively with the time that I have and the actual experiences/challenges that I am walking and facing right now

2. Writing has become something 'separate' from me and became something hard to do - like a chore.

3. The more I remain inconsistent the harder it becomes to again align myself within using writing as self-support, and the more I remain inconsistent the more conflict and backchat builds up in my daily life that is not practically worked on/walked through within writing.

4. When I do move myself to a point of stability and am able to write about a point, my writing is not consistent in terms of setting up a practical timeline of writing the problem, stating my realizations, sharing the self-forgiveness and/or correction process - which leads to those reading my posts not having a clear timeline for the point that I am walking as well as not having a clear solution process to follow.


Realizations - 

I have realized that the commitment to self-change and taking responsibility for our lives and how we contribute to this world and reality is a very personal process requiring self-honesty, self-dedication, and self-trust - but this process, though highly personal and often involving relationship/practical considerations that are not always best to speak openly to a public audience that has not walked an equal consideration and exploration of self-honesty and are thus prone to misinterpretation or malicious gossip - I am still responsible for walking and sharing the insights that I am discovering and applying - because this process is NOT just about me, and while I certainly have my own hands full with my personal process of correction and change - so too do those who are walking this process, or considering walking this process, or are observing those who are walking this process but still doubt the validity/effectiveness/methodology of what we are doing or why we do it in this particular way.

So when I look at my particular challenges and see that I have quite a road of correction and application 'ahead' of me, it is very easy to go into frustration and not wanting to share the personal challenges and the things that I am still adjusting - but I see and realize that I certainly am NOT the only one facing such resistances and challenges.

While it is most likely true that others are not facing the exact same situations or problems or challenges that I am facing because of how different each individual life has been lived and the various and innumerable factors that make one person's life and relationships different from others - we most CERTAINLY still face the same core patterns and conflicts that remind us that the way we are living in the world now and the way we are seeing/experiencing our lives is NOT optimal or even sustainable, and has tended toward us creating lives of imbalance, of insecurity, of judgment, of frustration.

These problems and conflicts we personally face each day tend to be covered up with personalities and coping mechanisms where we do NOT actually share or work through our issues constructively as a group because they are indeed "personal" - but here we fail to see how we collectively reinforce and solidify this idea that just because we experience our problems in personal sectors in our lives, that this means we are alone and we are to blame for how we feel - and we do not consider that our lives are interdependent and that the conflicts and problems we are dealing with individually in our private lives have common threads and origins in our collective life - and as such simply knowing that we are NOT alone is an important foundation point that is needed in this world if we are to understand the actual nature of our issues and be able to work with them practically at a greater social level - where it is no longer PERSONAL but can be seen as a systematic problem - with systematic solutions that are impossible to implement 'alone' in our private bubbles.



Write my personal process for myself in detail and specificity without fear or holding back, understanding that I will not necessarily share such writings or such personal details with anyone - because the starting point of my self-writing, my self-forgiveness, and my applications of correction are the personal dimension of my process. I do this for myself only - not for anyone else.

Write and share my realizations and perspectives NOT from a personal dimension/framework, but rather share the patterns and conflicts and issues that I see and face in general, realizing that there are MANY who face the same conflicts - that those who are walking or may walk or are considering taking responsibility for the first time can see that they are NOT alone - just as I have often felt that I am alone in what I am seeing and experiencing - that we face our challenges and issues in coming to terms with our responsibility toward ourselves, our relationships, and our world in personal ways, but we are in this process TOGETHER.

So, my correction and solution is to write clearly and directly in non personal ways the process that I am walking, the realizations that I have, the solutions that I see, and the patterns and conflicts that I myself am dealing with - but to write and show these points in such a way than anyone can read it and be able to see for themselves how we each face the same essential problems and points, and thus can benefit from my sharing - even though I do not share the deeply personal details of my process.



So the cool thing that I can see coming out of this would be that I would be remaining consistent within my walking and sharing of my process - while still working through my personal conflicts and challenges in my own 'pace' - because what I will be sharing would be more the 'universal' points that anyone can relate to, see within their own lives, and work with.
Here also is an opportunity to accumulate my own ability to articulate my process in ways that can be understood by those who are not in the exact same situation as I am but can relate to the general process and in this way be able to 'walk with me' through their own personal points, realizing that none of it is actually 'personal' in terms of having to be ashamed of it or hide it or feel that we cannot share our process or assist ourselves and each other with our perspectives.
Within this it would also be cool to see how we can actually walk TOGETHER in working out the solutions and common threads of our problems without making anything personal or resorting to blame or fixating only in our own confined bubbles and 'personal problems'.


For those just tuning in to this blog, or those who are not yet familiar with the method of self-forgiveness and self-honesty and how to use writing as a tool of self-change and self-investigation, I suggest checking out the Desteni I Process - there is a FREE course on how to practically start doing this for yourself. 

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